About A Boy
by DeeBee7
Summary: The story of a free man, a town full of Nanna's and Poppa's, and a little boy called Lucky.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone!  
**

**Long time no see, right? I kept meaning to start this story weeks ago but I developed a rather nasty addiction to reality TV shows and Facebook games, which has been taking up a lot of my free time. Sorry...  
**

**Anyway...  
**

**Welcome to my new story, I hope you all enjoy it!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Never have, never will. Nor does this story have anything to do with the book, film, TV show or song of the same name.**

**:-D**

Prologue:

EPOV

"He was left on Bella Swan's doorstep, poor little dear," I hear Nanna Jones explain to a visiting reporter. "Forks won't be the same without him."

They'd come from as far away as Seattle to hear his story, and I know if Lucky were here he'd be hamming it up for the cameras and answering all their questions in that adorable smart-ass way that only he could ever get away with. He'd be lapping up the attention of everyone in the room.

But he's not here today, he can't be.

The entire town had shown up for this day, filling the hard wooden pews and any available standing room in the building. Today was as important for them as it was for Bella and I.

And for Lucky.

They say it takes a village to raise a child, but I'd never really believed that before I returned to Forks. And now...now I believe. Bella may be Lucky's mom, the only mom he's ever known, but Lucky belongs to Forks. Hell, judging by today's turn out, I think Lucky may actually be Forks. It's heart and soul anyway.

Bella's sweaty hand tightens around mine as the side door opens and the man in his long robes enters. He walks at a slow, measured pace to the centre of the room, where he waits for silence to fall over the gathered crowd.

I look towards my girl as she stares straight up at me, biting her lip so hard that I'm almost expecting to see blood running down her chin. She takes a deep, shuddering breath before directing her attention to the front of the room.

I follow her gaze, watching as the man takes a calming breath of his own and clears his throat.

Nobody moves.

We wait.

And we listen.

**So...any thoughts? Good? Bad? Fave reality TV show or Facebook game? Any and all reviews are very welcome and much appreciated, so feel to let me know what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi everyone!**

**Another day, another chapter...**

**Thanks to all the lovely reader for showing their support for this story, it means the world to me.**

**As always, I love hearing all your thoughts about my stories, so reviews are very much appreciated.**

**Enjoy...**

**:-D**

EPOV

Trees, trees, and more trees.

God, I feel like a hippy with a hard-on, I've never been so excited to see so many fucking trees up close before. Even the air-freshener hanging from the rear view mirror is a god damn tree.

"So...bet you never thought you'd be happy to be back here again?" Jasper laughs as he drives past the town sign. From what I can tell, nothing's changed in Forks since I was driven away from here seven years ago.

"Understatement of the century," I snort, shaking my head.

Don't get me wrong, Forks is nice and all, but it's too small and too quaint for my liking. My plan had always been to get a fresh start in Seattle after my release, but with no place to live and no job prospects, my options were pretty limited.

So here I am, back in my hometown.

I can only hope that they've forgiven me for what I did and aren't waiting outside my mom's house with pitchforks and torches. It was an accident afterall, how was I to know that cheap carpet was so fucking flammable. One misplaced cigarette and BAM, the community centre is up in smoke and I'm spending the next seven years in the Clallam Bay Corrections Center.

It's funny how things turn out sometimes...

"Where to first, then?" Jasper asks as he drives down the main street. Being a Sunday, I don't have many choices. Sure I could go straight to mom's place, I guess, but knowing that "Doctor" Carlisle will probably be there makes me want to put it off for as long as possible. Watching mom's boyfriend strut around in his pastel colored safari suits is something I definitely didn't miss.

There's only one place I really want to go, only one person I really want to see.

"I wanna go see Bella," I say quietly. My body jerks forward as he slams on the breaks, stopping the car in the middle of the street. He turns his whole body in the seat to face me.

"What?" he snaps. He looks a little pissed at me.

"Take me to Bella's," I say seriously.

"Dude, no," he sighs, rubbing his hand across his forehead.

"Why? She's not still pissed at me, is she?" 'Cause yeah, she was furious with me when I got arrested. She loved that community center, always volunteering and helping her mom teach classes and shit, and while I'd always given her crap for being a goody-two-shoes, I'd never have intentionally taken that away from her. It was an accident, but no matter how many times I tried to explain that to her, she wouldn't listen.

"I don't know, we don't talk about you," he shrugs. His admission hurts a little, if I'm honest. Knowing that my two best friends don't even talk about me anymore is a painful reminder of how my stupid mistake hurt others. "Things are different now, more complicated. It not just because of you."

"Then what's it about then? 'Cause nobody will tell me anything about her anymore," I say. It's true. Every time I ask Mom or Jas about Bella, they just clam up or quickly change the subject, like I'm not even allowed to know how she's doing.

"Fine," Jasper grumbles, putting the car in gear, turning around and driving in the opposite direction. "Let's go see Bella."

A few minutes later he pulls up in front of neat looking two-story house. There's a small blue car in the drive-way, so she's obviously home. I open the door and thank Jasper for the ride, telling him that I'll just walk back to my mom's house.

"I think I'll wait," he smirks. Obviously here's pretty sure that Bella's not going to want to talk to me. I shake my head at him as I walk up the front steps and press the doorbell. The chiming music inside is soon followed by the sound of footsteps hurrying towards the door. I plaster on my most sincere, and hopefully, charming smile as the door slowly opens. The face that greets me is definitely not Bella's, and it's the last thing I expect to find at her house.

"Who are you?" the little boy asks, folding his arms across his chest and curling his lip into a sneer. Jesus, what's this kid's problem?

"Who are _you_?" I shoot back. There's no way I'm letting this little gatekeeper cop an attitude with me.

"I'm Lockie Swan," he snaps, not relaxing his stance. Wait...did he say Lucky?

"What the hell kinda name is Lucky?" I laugh. There's no way Bella would give her kid such a stupid name. Maybe Bella's parents had a mid-life crisis baby or something, I wouldn't put it past Renee to think of a weird name like Lucky.

I wonder if his middle name is Charms...

"It's not Lucky, you idiot. It's Lockie," he shouts, stomping his foot on the floor. He scrunches his face up in anger, and it would almost be cute if the little monster didn't look like he was about to junk-punch me.

"Listen you little punk-"

"Edward!"

I look up to find Bella standing in the hall, glaring at me. I can practically see the smoke coming out of her ears.

I guess I've completely blown my chance at a good impression.

The little demon between us giggles and shakes his shaggy blonde haired head.

"You're in sooo much trouble now..."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi everyone!**

**Sorry for the late update. I was aiming to post two chapters a week but I've been so busy lately that I haven't had any time to write until now, so hopefully I can get three chapters out this week to make up for it. Wish me luck...**

**Thanks to everyone for reading and supporting this story, and especially to those who took the time to review. Without you, I'd have no idea if this story was worth continuing or not, so I really can't thank you all enough!**

**To Guest: I love Lochie (Lucky) too! He's really the star of this story.**

**:-D**

EPOV

In a situation like this, I smart man would apologise and try to make amends for whatever it is that's got her so pissed off.

Unfortunately, that man is not me.

"Hey Bella, long time no see, huh?" I smile. "You miss me?"

She doesn't respond, but judging by the way her nostrils are flaring, I should probably quit while I'm ahead.

Probably...

"Speechless, right? That's okay, I can just stay and chat to my little buddy Lucky here," I say cheerfully, patting the kid on the head. He smacks my hand away with a scowl.

"Get your hands off me, you wierdo," he snaps as he tries to smooth his unruly hair down. Yeah, good luck with that kid, your hair's worse than mine.

"Lochie, go watch some TV in your room," Bella says flatly.

"Noooo," he whines, stomping his foot like the brat I knew he was. Though it's nice to know that I'm not the only person he's disrespectful to, part of my wants to pop him in the back of head for talking back to Bella like that.

"Go!" Bella snaps back, making it clear that she means business. The little shit growls and mumbles under his breath as he stomps up the stairs, stopping halfway up to poke his tongue out at me where Bella can't see. Before I can snitch on him to Bella, he runs up the last few steps and into his room, slamming the door behind him.

Without the kid as a buffer between us, the next few minutes are, in a word, superfuckingawkward. Yeah, I had to make one up because there isn't a word in the English language that can accurately describe how bad it feels to stand opposite Bella in complete silence while we desperately try not to make eye contact with each other.

Maybe I should call the dictionary writers about that...

"So..." I say slowly, in a lame attempt to break the silence. "Your little brother's a dick."

"My little brother?" Bella asks, looking adorably confused. "Who are you talking about?"

"Lucky. You know? The kid you just sent upstairs?" I try to explain but she still looks a little lost.

Now I'm confused. Did she seriously just forget that there was a kid down here a few minutes ago? I study her scrunched up face, trying to figure out if she's on some kind of heavy medication, when I notice her expression change. She sighs impatiently and slowly walks towards me.

"First of all, his name is Lochie. Secondly, he's not my brother, he's my son. And lastly," she says, stopping dangerously close to me. It's been a long time since I've been with woman and honestly I should be un-fucking-belivably turned on be her closeness, but there's something about the way she's looking at me that sends my sex drive running for the hills. She pulls my head down and whispers calmly in my ear. "If you ever, _ever_ call my son a dick again, I'll personally rip yours from your body and stuff it down your throat. Are we clear?"

I nod my head quickly. I want to ask her about him, like how old he is and who the hell is his father, but I'm using all my brain power to keep from pissing myself. Not that I could even if I wanted to, 'cause I'm pretty sure my cock just crawled up inside my body to hide. I've seen some pretty scary dudes in my time, but damn, Momma-Bear Bella is fucking terrifying.

"Good," she smiles, patting my cheek. "Now get out of my house."

Without another word, I turn and run for Jasper's car. Good thing the door was open, or I would've left an Edward shaped hole in it. There's no way I was stopping to open it, that's for sure.

"Drive, drive!" I say frantically, trying to catch my breath as I throw myself into the seat and slam the door behind me.

"Why? What happened?" Jasper asks, starting the engine. I glance back at the house, half expecting Bella to come rushing out the front door with a huge knife in her hand.

"You were right," I wheeze. "She wasn't happy to see me."

Jasper just laughs, smug fucker that he is, and pulls out into the street, heading towards Mom's house.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone!  
**

**Thanks to all you wonderful readers for supporting this story. It got a tonne of new followers for the last chapter, but only two reviews. Why so quiet? I'd love to know what you all think so far, and I'm incredibly happy that all the reviews so far have been positive, but even if you don't like it, feel free to let me know.  
**

**:-D  
**

EPOV

Jasper doesn't hang around after dropping me out the front of my mom's place, and honestly, I don't blame him. Of all the horrendous colors she's painted the house over the years, I'd have to say that the current shade of Pepto Bismol pink would have to be the worst. Not that I was a huge fan of the bright green or neon orange, but this is especially hideous. If you didn't know Esme Platt, you'd think a five year old picked it out.

Unfortunately I'm used to Mom's tastes, and while it is disturbing, it's not really a surprise.

The front door flies open and a short, chubby woman comes rushing down the path, engulfing me in a tight hug.

"My baby boy!" she squeals happily, tears shining in her eyes. "I've missed you so much."

"Mom," I sigh, embarrassed by her display of emotion. "How can you miss me? You just saw me last week."

She pulls away and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, smearing her make-up across her face. "That's different," she says, taking my hand and dragging me towards the house. "You were in that horrible place then, but now you're home. Oh my gosh, you're really home. Come on, let's go tell Carlisle."

Ugh...Carlisle.

I don't exactly hate Carlisle Cullen per say, he seems like a nice guy and he's always treated Mom well, but I don't entirely trust him either. I mean, he's been dating my mom for ten years and he still hasn't proposed, hell they don't even live together or anything. It's not like either of them are getting any younger, so what's the hold-up?

Plus, everyone calls him "Doctor Carlisle" even though he's not an actual doctor, he's only a pharmacist. Sure, he can fill prescriptions and give out meds for a cold, but if someone broke their leg he'd be pretty fucking useless.

And then there's the way he dresses. Apparently when disco died, so did Carlisle's sense of style. I'm surprised he doesn't freak out every time the phone rings in case it's the '70s calling to ask for it's safari suits back. Basically he's creepy and weird.

And sitting in my mom's kitchen, sipping coffee like he pays the rent.

"Welcome home, Edward, it's good to see you again," he say, patting me on the shoulder. While Mom may have visited me every week when I was locked up, I specifically asked her not to bring Carlisle. He's not my friend, and he sure as shit isn't my father, so why would I waste my precious visiting hours taking to that joker.

"Yeah, it feels great to be back in _my_ home," I say, subtly reminding him that I'm the man of this house, and while my mom's finger stays bare, he has no say in anything. He sighs, shaking his head at me. He'd never make a big deal about my attitude in front of Mom. I'm her only son and he's just some interloper. Guess who's side she's going to take if Carlisle and I get into it?

I take a seat across the table from him as Mom places a plate loaded with food in front of me. From the look of the kitchen, she's been cooking all day. Because according to her, every occasion calls for food.

Happy? Eat.

Sad? Eat.

Bored? Eat.

Hungry? Definitely eat.

Of course this might explain why no-one would ever accuse her of being skinny. Lumpy is probably a more accurate description of my mom's body shape, but she seems happy and that's all that really matters, I guess.

After scoffing down two plates of food, the fatigue of the day finally catches up with me, and knowing I have to meet with my parole officer bright and early before I start work at Mom's flower shop, I figure it's time to say goodnight and head to my old room. I pause in the doorway, unsure of what I'll find inside, but the room looks exactly the way I left it. Minus the trash and dirty clothes all over the floor, of course. Just being here makes me feel like I'm nineteen again. Without bothering explore any further, I strip down to my boxers, flop face down onto my bed and I'm out like a light.

I wake in the morning to the sound of voices coming from down the hall. I feel really fucking good, so good that I'm not even pissed that someone woke me up from the best sleep I've had in years. I slowly drag myself out of bed and into the bathroom, where I finally get to enjoy the two luxury that I missed the most while in prison.

A long hot shower.

And jacking off in the long hot shower.

I try not to picture any specific chick as I firmly slide my soapy hand up and down my shaft, but the vision of a brunette with big brown eyes makes my cock weep. Yeah...I might have a type. And sure, she kind of looks like Bella, and as much as I don't want to beat off to images of a chick who threatened to castrate me, it's a lost cause when I know exactly what it feels like to be inside Bella. The memories of that night are a little hazy but they're enough to get me off now. My hand slams down on the shower wall and I move my hand faster, as my balls tighten and my skin tingles. I'm so fucking close.

"Eeeew, what are you doing?" a little voice shrieks. Cold water suddenly rushes over me as I accidentally grab the tap in an attempt to keep myself upright. Staring at me through the glass shower door is Bella's little monster, his face screwed up in disgust. Before I can cuss the little turd out for sneaking into my house and my bathroom, he runs out the door screaming.

"NANNA ESME!" he yells. "Nanna Esme, help me! This creep's trying to show me his wiener."

"Oh you little fucker," I mumble under my breath as I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around my waist, my hard-on long gone. It takes a moment for my brain to fully process what he just said. He called my mom, Nanna Esme.

Nanna, as in grandma.

Which means...

"Oh shit!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello Loyal Readers!  
**

**Thank you all so much for showing this story some love. You are the greatest readers I could ever hope for! Special thanks to those of you who took the time to review. Four new reviews for the last chapter and they were all positive! YAY!  
**

**:-D  
**

EPOV

I quickly jump out of the shower and throw my clothes on, not even bothering to dry myself first. All I can focus on is what Lucky called my mom. I mean, he wouldn't be calling her Nanna is he wasn't my...fuck, just the thought sends cold shivers up my spine.

Rushing into the kitchen, I find Mom standing at the kitchen island, happily chatting to the devil incarnate sitting on one of the stool opposite her. As much as I dislike the little punk, I don't want to have this conversation in front of him.

"Mom, can I talk to you for a minute," I say, greedily stealing her attention away from Lucky. I don't care what she is to him, she was my mom first.

"Sure, honey, I was just about to make pancakes. Do you want some?" she asks. I nod eagerly. Who in their right mind turns down pancakes for breakfast? "What do you want to talk about?"

"Uh...I'd really like to do this in private, if you don't mind," I say, subtly nodding my head towards the kid. She looks between Lucky and I, furrowing her brows.

"Of course I mind," she says, putting her hands on her hips. I saw this pose a lot growing up, so I know she's not about to praise me for being the awesome son that I am. "We have a guest. I know I raised you better than that, Edward. Don't be so rude."

"Yeah, _Ed-weird_, don't be rude," the little parrot on the stool chimes in. What. The. Fuck?

"Me? I'm rude?" I yell, slamming my hands down on the bench. "What about you, huh? You're the little pervert that busted in on me showering. That's pretty fucking rude if you ask me."

"Edward!" Mom shrieks, pushing past me to wrap her arms around the kid. So much for me being her favourite. "Don't you ever talk to him like that again! He's just a boy."

"I was just trying to wash my hands like you asked me to, Nanna," he sniffs sadly, his voice muffled by my mom's shirt. I didn't mean to make the kid cry, I'm not that fucking heartless. Mom picks Lucky up and gently places his head on her shoulder. Shit, now I almost feel guilty.

Until Mom turns her back to me and I get a good look at his face.

Eyes twinkling with mischief, he pokes his fat bottom lip out at me before smirking proudly.

Tou-fucking-che, Lucky. I guess you win this round, kid.

For a moment, I'm almost proud. I haven't seen someone manipulate Esme Platt so convincingly since...me. Maybe it's genetic and he really is...yeah, I still can't say it.

I decide to bite the bullet and just ask Mom. I mean, it's not like anyone else will tell me. Jasper's pretty tight lipped and Bella's scary as hell, so I can't ask either of them.

"Mom, why does he call you Nanna?" I ask quietly. She turns to face me, her angry expression slowly disappearing as she realises what I'm really asking. Her shoulders start to shake as laughter bubbles up out of her mouth. I don't know why she thinks this is so funny. This is my life we're talking about, I could be a d...da..dad. There I said it.

Now I feel like I'm going to throw up.

"Oh...oh Edward," she smiles, unwrapping an arm from around Lucky to wipe a stray tear from her eye. "I know what you're thinking, but no. He calls a lot of women that. It doesn't mean what you think it means."

Thank fuck for that!

Well, now that I've dodged that messy little bullet, I think it's time to get some revenge...


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi everyone!**

**Okay...so basically I've thrown my posting schedule out the window because I don't want to make any promises to you all that I can't guarantee I'll keep. Real life is horrible and busy and it sucks, enough said.**

**Thanks to everyone who's reading, following or reviewing the story, I really truly appreciate every single one of you. And I absolutely adore hearing your thoughts, so keep them coming.  
**

**:-D**

EPOV

I'm honestly starting to question Bella's parenting ability. I mean, who in their right mind lets a seven year old wander the streets on their own?

But that's exactly what Lucky does, just wanders around to the three blocks to my mom's house every morning. Worse than that, according to Mom, he doesn't only go to her house. Basically this kid just spends a lot of time just wandering around town by himself. Oh, and loitering in every fucking store in town.

Literally. Every. Fucking. Store.

It took us nearly half an hour to walk from where my mom parks to her shop because we had to stop at every business along the way so that Lucky could pop his head in to say good morning.

Which leads me to another interesting tidbit that I've learnt about Lucky this morning, aside from his age and the fact that he has possibly the sketchiest mother in town. Apparently the poor kid's so messed up that he actually thinks he's related to every single person in town. Nearly everyone we saw this morning was his Nanna or Poppa, those that weren't were his Aunt or Uncle. Seriously, didn't anyone ever teach him about stranger danger?

But the most important thing I've learnt about Lucky is that he loves attention.

So naturally, I'm doing my very best to ignore him. Not exactly an easy task when the kid's shadowing my every move.

"Where are you going?" he shouts at me as I walk out of Mom's flower shop.

_Me? Oh, I'm off to see my P.O., kid. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll have one of your own some day._

"Are you going to see Poppa Carlisle?"

_Poppa Carlisle? Fuck no! Although...he could give me something for this persistent pain in my ass._

"Can we stop now? My feet are sore."

_You wanna stop here? In the middle of the road? Well, by all means, go ahead. Don't let me stop you._

For the first time in my life, I'm actually excited to see the police station come into view. Hell, at this stage I'd be excited to see anything that would get me away from this kid.

Because Forks is the smallest town in the whole fucking world, they don't actually have a parole officer. So, being the lucky bastard that I am, I have to report to the Chief of Police himself, and honestly, I'm a little nervous.

Old Chief Forge has had it out for me since he caught me stealing a candy bar from the grocery store when I was four, so when he finally busted me for the community centre fire, the man practically threw a party to celebrate. The smug fucker is probably sitting in his office right now, laughing it up over the fact that I have to kiss up to him if I want to keep my freedom.

God, this is going to be so fucking horrible.

I make my way through the main doors of the station, quickly trying to close them behind me before Lucky can follow me, but apparently he's sneakier than I thought he was, because he manages to slip through behind me. Instead of following me though, he waves to the hot blonde behind the front desk and walks his ass down the hall towards the offices.

Huh...well, at least he's out of my hair now.

"Hey," I say, extending my hand towards the receptionist and giving her my sexiest grin. "The name's Edward Masen."

She glances down at my hand but makes no move to shake it. Figures. She looks too prissy to ever touch a commoner, stuck-up bitch. She reaches down and pushes a button on the phone in front of her.

"Yeah," a deep voice says through the speaker.

"Edward Masen is here," the chick replies, raising her eyebrows and smirking at me.

A door down the hall opens and I brace myself for the happy reunion with my old nemesis, but what I see coming down the hall towards me is definitely not what I expected.

The guy is huge. I mean, I've seen some pretty big dudes in my time, but this guy is seriously lives-at-the-top-of-a-beanstalk big. It's gotta be some kind of joke, that old bastard Forge is playing some kind of prank on me, right?

Except this giant mother fucker has the uniform and the Chief's badge...

Chief Forge would've gladly thrown me back in prison if I screwed up but this guy would probably kill me with his bare hands if I so much as sneeze in the wrong direction. I'm freaking out now, so like the idiot I am, I blurt out the first stupid thing that pops into my head.

"You're not Chief Forge."


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi everyone!**

**I hope you all had a wonderful Easter! I spent mine away visiting family, hence the late update (so so sorry BTW).**

**Super freaking HUGE thank you to Tarbecca for rec'ing this story over on A Different Forest! The followers and faves for this story have more than doubled in the last few days thanks to her wonderful words and I honestly believe that this story (as well as my other stories) would still be lost at sea if it weren't for her Fic Diving. Also, thanks for posting one of only two reviews for the last chapter (sujari6, thank you too for the other one), you are far far to kind and I'm extremely grateful.**

**I'd love to hear what all the new followers think of the story so far, though to be honest, I'm happy just to have you along for the ride.**

**:-D**

EPOV

The behemoth chuckles quietly and shakes his head. I don't know what scares me more, his intimidating size or the creepy, bashful smile he's now sporting.

"No...no, I'm definitely not," he says. "It's really good to see you again, Edward."

"Uh, yeah," I say awkwardly. I've never seen this mother fucker before in my life, but I figure if I play nice, he'll go easy on me. The last thing I want to do is get off on the wrong foot with this dude. He stares back at me expectantly for a minute or two before the smile slowly slips from his face.

"You don't remember me, do you?" he asks sadly, hanging his head a little. I don't know why he's beating himself up over this. I've been away for seven years, there's a lot of shit I don't remember. Shit, I'm lucky I made it to the police station without getting lost.

"Nope," I shrug unapologetically. "Sorry, man."

"Oh, that's okay. I...I'm Felix. Felix Torres?" he offers helpfully. Felix Torres...no, still not ringing any bells. "We went to high school together? I used to sit in front of you in English."

High school? Fuck, that was like nine years ago!

Wait...did he say English?

"Hey! I remember you now," I laugh. "You were on the cheer-leading team, right?"

"It was called the spirit squad, actually," he says seriously, crossing his arms and pushing out his already massive chest. "And yes, that was me."

To be honest, I couldn't give a flying fuck what it's called, but seeing as how I'm a recently paroled felon and he's the one wearing a badge, I figure I better play nice.

"Oh, my bad. You look so different now, that's all," I say apologetically. Jesus Christ, now the giant's creepy smile is back. He looks an overgrown kid on Christmas morning.

I'm so over this whole fucking conversation and we haven't even made it to his office, yet like a good, model citizen I nod obediently as he prattles on about protein shakes and his weird little gym buddies. But when this fascinating one-sided conversation moves on to suitable footwear for running, I decide it's time to remind him of why I'm in this little slice of hell in the first place.

I only run when I'm chased, so who the fuck cares what shoes I'm wearing when I do it, you know?

"Uh...o-of course, silly me," Felix stutters as he turns and walks back down the hallway, motioning for me to follow him. "Right this way."

The office is neater than I can ever remember Chief Forge keeping it and the furniture has been rearranged to make space for a smaller desk that now sits opposite the Chief's on the far side of the room. Now, I could lie and say I'm surprised by the small figure that sits behind the new desk, but I'm really not. And the smug, stupid smirk on his face doesn't surprise me either.

"Edward, have you met my honorary Deputy?" Chief Torres asks cheerfully.

"Honorary Deputy..." I snort, shaking my head in frustration.

Fuck my life...


	8. Chapter 8

**Hello readers!**

**Two chapters in one day? Yay for FINALLY getting enough time to really write again!**

**Thanks to everyone for favouriting (is that even a real word?), following and reviewing this story. The response to the last chapter was great, it really inspired me to get this one out that much sooner, and it's wonderful to hear how much you're all enjoying the story. Keep those beautiful reviews coming!**

**:-D**

EPOV

"You know you're not actually a cop, right?" I say, stomping back down the street towards Mom's shop. "It's just an _honorary _title. Do you know what that means? Honorary? It means it's not real."

"Yeah, I am," Lucky argues, hurrying to catch up with me. "I've got a badge and everything!"

"Sure you do kid," I chuckle sarcastically. "And I'm the King of England."

"Fine then, Your Majesty, check this out," he says, reaching into the pocket of his hoody, pulls out his badge and shoves it at me. "See?"

I snatch it out of his hand and examine it closely. It's heavier than I'd expect a fake badge to be, it's got all the right words and markings as well. It totally looks the part, but it can't be real, right? That's crazy. I can only think of one way a kid would get a badge like this.

"Did you fucking steal this?" I yell, waving the badge in his face. "You wait 'til I tell your mom about this, she's gonna beat your ass."

"I didn't steal it," he shouts back. "Now give it back!"

He makes a feeble attempt to snatch the badge out of my hands, but I'm having none of that. I've finally got something on this kid, and there's no way that I'm not gonna make the most of it. I hold the badge high over my head and run towards the diner that Bella now co-owns with some cousin of hers. I'm not stupid enough to think she won't be pissed as hell to see me, but the second she turns that anger on Lucky, it's going to be the sweetest revenge ever.

God, I can almost taste it...

"Bella!" I shout as I push through the doors. I search the room before my eyes zero in on her standing behind the long, white Formica counter. I storm up to her and slam the confiscated badge down on the counter. "Look what I just caught your son with."

Bella picks up the badge and turns it over in her hands. I'm expecting her to look at least a little bit angry, but just looks annoyed as she glances over my shoulder at Lucky. Her eyes finally meet mine as she sighs.

"Edward," she says patiently, like she's talking to a child or something. "Did you steal Lochie's badge?"

"What? No! _I_ didn't steal it, _he _did," I explain, pointing at the little felon. He must have fed her some bullshit story if she actually believe that the badge really belongs to him. "Bella, this is a cop badge, a real one. There's no way they just gave it to him."

She sighs again, and damn it, I'm really starting to get sick of the sound. I wish she'd make with the punishing already so I can start gloating.

"Lochie, did you explain to Edward why you were given the badge?" Bella smiles, looking at me like I'm some mental patient.

"I didn't get to," he replies. "He just grabbed it off me and ran away."

Nice...now it sounds like I really am a crazy person. Thanks kid.

"Lochie saw a house in our neighbourhood being broken into last year and he reported it to the police," she says proudly. "They gave him the badge and deputised him as a reward for doing the right thing."

"Oh..." I say lamely. Guess it's possible that I _may _have jumped the gun on this one...

"Now listen, Edward," Bella continues. "I think I may have been a little hard on you yesterday, clearly you're having a bit of trouble adjusting to life on the outside again, but whatever disagreement you and Lochie are having, you need to be the grown-up here and put it behind you, okay?"

"Okay," I mumble. She does make a very good point. I'm an adult, I shouldn't let this kid drag me down to his level.

_But he's so fucking annoying..._

I know, I know. But you've survived bigger foes than him, Edward, so suck it up.

"Good," she says cheerfully. "Now...shake hands and make up."

"Seriously?" I ask, raising my eyebrows sceptically.

"Yes," she deadpans, folding her arms across her chest. "Unless you'd rather hug it out..."

"Hell no!" I snap, extending my arm in Lucky's direction. He wraps his much smaller hand around mine and squeezes with all his might, which isn't much considering he's the size of a four year old.

But I see what this is. He's challenging me, daring me to fuck this peace treaty up before he does, but he's met his match this time. I, Edward Masen, am going to be the nicest bastard this town has ever seen. Hell, I'll be so nice that they might even give me a police badge of my own, and when they do, I'm going to rub it in his smug little face.

Game on, mother fucker.

Game. On.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hi Everyone!**

**Super thanks to everyone who's favourited, followed or reviewed this story. You are the greatest readers that I could ever wish for. So great in fact, that I was happy to give up part of Mother's Day to write this chapter for you all. And to those who reviewed, I'm so sorry that I haven't had time to reply, but it's almost midnight here and I have work in the morning, so I promise to reply to you all tomorrow.**

**Happy Mother's Day to all the mums and moms out there! I hope you all have had or will have a fantastic day.**

**As always, comments (good or bad) are always welcome and appreciated. Haven't gotten any negative reviews yet...just putting that out there...**

**:-D**

EPOV

"So, how was your first full day of freedom?" Jasper asks, dropping down in the seat across the table from me. I know I'm pushing my luck with Bella by even stepping into the diner again today, but apparently Jasper refuses to eat anywhere else.

"Fucking shit," I grumble. Seeing as how the shop was pretty much dead all, I spent the day cleaning out the cool room and dodging Mom's attempts to teach me how to make arrangements. Sure, I have to work in a flower shop, but I'd rather cut my own balls off than be caught making them into pretty little bunches. That's a girls job.

"Cool, cool," Jasper mutters distractedly, looking around the restaurant.

"Yeah, so I torched the place, you know? 'Cause that's my M.O. and all that," I continue, hoping that no-one is eavesdropping on my little story. The last thing I need is some nosy, busy-body ratting me out to the cops. "Mom was pretty pissed, but I think she'll get over it."

"Great, man. That's awesome," he nods, but his eyes are glued to a waitress on the other side of the room. I swear he jumps a foot and a half in the air when I slam my hands down on the table to get his attention. "Jesus fucking Christ, dude! What the hell did you do that for?"

"Who is she?" I ask, completely ignoring his question.

"Who?"

"The waitress you're drooling over," I laugh, nodding my head in her direction. "You fucking her?

"No!" he says loudly, drawing the attention of half the god-damn diner. He looks around sheepishly and lowers his voice. "No, I'm not fucking her."

"Why not?" Seriously, I'm surprised he's not hittin' that. She's cute, and if my boy wasn't pathetically pining over her, I'd be tempted to try my luck with her. Now that I've got a job and a roof over my head, getting laid is almost at the top of my to-do list.

"I don't know, Edward," he sighs. I'm praying he's not about to start talking about his feelings and crap, 'cause if he does, I'm walking out and leaving his ass behind. "She's just...Oh shit! She's coming over here. Just shut up and don't say anything embarrassing, okay?"

"Whatever," I laugh, watching him relax back in his seat, trying to look casual. The waitress stops at our table and looks at Jasper expectantly, but doesn't say anything. Pretty poor customer service, if you ask me. I mean, isn't it her job to greet customers?

Jasper looks up at her and smiles. "Well, hey there Miss Alice, how're you doing this lovely day?" he says in what could only be described as the worst cowboy accent known to man. She smiles back at him and gives him a thumbs up. Guess that means she's...good? "Well, that's mighty fine, darlin', mighty fine indeed. Now, my buddy Edward here and I would love two of your finest burgers with fries, and two ice cold glasses of Coke, thank you very kindly."

Alice blushes and jots the order down on her notepad, before giving Jasper a little curtsy and hurrying off to the kitchen, Jasper's eyes following her as she goes.

I swear I almost chew my own lips off trying not to laugh, but seriously, what the hell was that?

"What's wrong with you?" Jasper says as he finally tears his eyes away from the weird little waitresses ass and notices my pursed lips.

"Me? Why shucks pardner, there ain't nothin' wrong with lil' old me," I say, laying it on thick because, let's face it, I'm an asshole, so there's no way I'm not gonna to give him crap for this. "I'm just fine and dandy. Now I'm gonna eat me some grits and head on over yonder to rustle me some cattle."

"Are you done?" he deadpans. Apparently he doesn't find my accent as funny as I found his.

"Done?" I laugh loudly. "I'm not even close to being done! What the fuck was that?"

"I don't know," he sighs sadly. "I can't help it. It's like every time she talks to me, my accent just comes out."

"Jasper, you don't have an accent. You've never even been out of Washington," I chuckle. To be honest, I'm not sure Jasper realises that there are any other states besides ours.

"Look, what are the chances of you just forgetting that you saw that?" he begs. He looks so desperate, but what kind of a best friend would I be if I let him live this down.

I give him my most evil grin. "Not a chance in hell."


End file.
